I lived in Texas for two years and when I came back to Montreal I called up this woman that I used to go out with. And she was extremely pissed off at me for just getting up and leaving without telling her goodbye. I said, “You were the first one I called. I’m looking at my list and you came in with the highest rating. Now is there a chance for me to come over or not? I’m too horny to argue.”

She said, “Come over.” So I went over and fucked her. After I finished, she squawked for another two hours. I let her complain (who cares what they say) while I went to sleep. In the morning she made me breakfast and squawked for another two hours.

Finally I asked, “How long do I have to take your complaining for? How much squawking is two years in Texas worth?” And she said, “I’m almost done.” How much is two years in Texas worth? Yes I didn’t call. Yeah, I fucked tons of other women. No, I wasn’t thinking about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re so right honey!

Ok, fine, she’s right. I’m a terrible man. But they like bad boys. Remember that Seinfeld episode when George was the bad boy? He decided to do the complete opposite of what he had always done, and all of a sudden he had more women than ever. It’s a fact that women like bad boys.

Next Lesson: What To Do When A Woman Tells You: “I Love You!”