Women don’t look at us the same way that we look at them.

Men are primarily into looks, and women want us to be confident. So it should be easier for us to get laid than it is for them. Because if a woman is ugly, she gets the bottom of the barrel. If a man is ugly, he gets the bottom of the barrel unless he has confidence. If he has confidence, he can pick and choose.

What I’m doing with women is more honest than what any of these other guys are doing. If, by chance, you meet somebody that you fall in love with, someone you’d like to spend a lot of time with, or whatever woman fits your perception of what you want, all the more power to you. I’m not bonking her on the head and dragging her in off the street. You have to be honest with people, that’s all. And if you can do that, you’ve got it made. Not every chick is going to want you.

Some chicks are fixated on tall men, and if you’re not 6 foot 5, she won’t even consider going out with you. Some women only want a guy if he’s wealthy. They even give SEMINARS on how to attract the rich!

Some women only like to date their own kind, so if you’re not Jewish or white or Australian or whatever, they want nothing to do with you.

Can you turn her around? With enough effort you might be able to, but why would you want her?

I have a friend that only likes fat ugly women. That’s what he likes! He’s had more than his fair share of offers from beautiful women, but he doesn’t like them. What he finds beautiful is very different from what you or I would find beautiful. I’m glad there are people like him in this world, because that means that there really is somebody for everybody.

How much time should you spend with your girlfriend(s)? 7 days a week? 1 day a week? It all depends on how much you feel like being with her. If you only see her once a week, chances are that you will lose her. You can’t be lazy. You reap what you sow. You have to know how much she wants to see you, and then give her a bit less. You can’t put them on the once-a-week plan because if you take them for granted you will be doing what every other guy does. One of the top complaints women have against men is laziness. He used to do all kinds of little romantic things for her and now he stopped. You have to be different than those other guys out there. You have to be you. If you can’t fuck her more than once a week, leave her for somebody else.

Why do we look at dirty pictures? Why do we call them dirty pictures? I had so much porn on my hard drive that I had to get a CD burner! I love porn, it’s one of my hobbies. I only save the picture if I can see the cunt and the tits. If the woman in the picture is turned away, I delete it. I have to see the whole package. I used to have an Italian friend who loved fucking fat chicks. The bigger the better. I had another friend who got off on pregnant women! I’d feel like I was fucking the poor kid in the face. Did you ever fuck a woman when she is having her period? Of course today you can’t even think about doing that anymore! The STD’s are too deadly nowadays. And what about all of this animal porn? Call me crazy, but I’m probably never going to get in bed with a woman who’s just been fucked by a German shepherd. I saw a movie clip of a chick sucking on a horse’s cock. The horse came in buckets all over her. I don’t think I want to kiss her that day, or ever again! How about S&M? I don’t really want to see a guy cutting a woman’s nipples off. It doesn’t do it for me.

What the hell do women WANT, anyway? Funny, they all seem to read Cosmopolitan, so I did. It is so simple. First, they want a sense of humor. And it’s funny because all the guys that I have met that want to learn from me about how to pick up women must already have a great sense of humor. That’s why I can’t understand why they aren’t out there succeeding! All you guys obviously have a great sense of humor, because you are all so used to laughing at YOURSELVES to be able to live with rejection!

Humor is the number one key to getting laid. And being funny is so easy. All humor has some form of exaggeration in it. It’s not the joke that’s crude; it’s what the exaggeration is. You should be able to laugh at anything.

Number two? They want a MAN. They do not want a pussy, ok? Let’s look at the old caveman days. In those days they wanted a man to lead them, hunt for them, and protect them.

Well, guess what? They STILL DO! That will never change. They don’t want to be abused, and they don’t want to be physically hurt. And be careful guys, because those issues are common in their minds today.

Notice that I don’t ASK women what they like and then try to fulfill it. I tell them. And they always go, “Yeah, you’re right. Me too.” Actually, the worst thing you can say to a woman is “Me too.” Where I come from, that is called ass kissing. And women don’t want an ass-kisser.

Women are soooo jealous of each other. If you are seen with a beautiful woman, you will have instant popularity with all the other women. If you bring a rare beauty home with you only to discover that she stinks in bed, use her as bait.

Another thing that women love are guys that are spontaneous. So, as I am talking to them I say, “You know, I have to tell you something. After my last relationship went sour, a friend of mine took me to see a psychic. I don’t really believe in that shit, but my friend kept on insisting so I went. And the psychic told me that my next relationship is gonna start off being completely sexual, and that over time it will probably turn out to be a fabulous relationship. But I have to find a woman who is spontaneous enough and has the guts to go through with it.”

You’re going to enjoy the outcome of telling them that, boy, let me tell you. Because the challenge intrigues them to no end. Typically I will then add, “But I know that we’ve just met, and I don’t know if you’re the kind of person that would be interested in something like that.”

People typically respond well to challenges, and women are people.

I have a friend that married a gorgeous woman, who I consider to be a solid 9. You won’t hear me say that very often but she was very appealing. Blond hair, blue eyes, nice face, killer body, she was HOT!

Anyway, after they had been married for a while, they obviously were starting to drift apart, and I knew it because she started spending more and more time with some of her divorcé friends. So I told my friend to expect to get divorced very soon. He said, “What are you talking about?” and I said, “Listen. She is hanging around with all these single broads.” See, women don’t wish for good things to happen to other women.

Men are the opposite. If I introduce a woman to a buddy of mine and he gets laid as a result, I feel good! I feel like a father who just helped his son. Women are like cats. “She’s got a man…I want him!” “I’m divorced and unhappy so I want her to be divorced and unhappy!”

Girls are almost always competing with each other, and you don’t need to be a shrink to figure that out.

A lot of you have been told that you should never compliment a woman on her looks. How stupid! Because if you don’t tell her that you find her appealing you are lying. I don’t lie. I don’t tell them everything, but I don’t out and out tell them a lie.

She knows that you want to fuck her. And you want her to know this right from the beginning. She knows why you’re talking to her. Women often say, “Men are only interested in one thing!” Sometimes I’ll reply, “Yeah, mostly!” And she’ll ask, “What are the other things?” My reply?

“Doing you and your friend!”

Now, most of you are laughing, and probably you wouldn’t have the guts to say something like that. But I’ll tell you, women do not want a shy guy. They don’t. If they did, you wouldn’t have read my book. They want a man who can care for and protect them. We’re born to know this.

You should see what I do to my friends’ secretaries. Actually, there’s one in particular that really strikes my fancy. She’s got big tits, nice Italian girl, cute. So I’ll look at her with a huge grin on my face. She’ll go, “Why are you smiling?” I say, “I’m just finishing fucking you — can you hold on a minute please?”

You should see them blush when you throw them a line like that. I say stuff like that to her all the time. So as she was blushing, my wife walked in, so I said, “Honey, this is the one I was telling you about, the one that always makes passes at me.”

I tell her, “If I could convince my wife, I’d do you both together.” That’s the kind of stuff I say to women. I say the truth and I’m relentless about the truth. People know exactly what I’m thinking. My friends are always asking me, “What do you do to my secretaries? Whenever you show up, it lights up their whole day!” Sometimes the women go, “But David, you’re married!” I go, “What, you don’t think I can handle two women?”

There are three guys that the women go for first. Millionaires, rock stars, and actors. And they all have one thing in common…lots of money. You could be a millionaire who is nothing but a stupid, ugly, dishonest, alcoholic, abusive, unfaithful, smelly, diseased piece of shit that has absolutely no sense of humor and still get lots of women. The rest of us have to take what’s left. The good news is that there aren’t very many millionaires, rock stars, and actors. Most men would be screwed if there were. This desire for money stems from a natural need for safety and security.

In this culture we tend to equate safety and security with money instead of deriving those feelings from our abilities. We forget that it’s not money that makes the world turn. If you have a daughter, you probably want her to end up with someone that can take care of her and keep her safe financially.

Ever read a romance novel? All women have a fantasy in their minds about the kind of man they want to be with. A lot of those fantasies go unfulfilled for the most part. Just start doing little cute romantic things for her every once and a while.

Go to the dollar store and get a teddy bear key chain, for example. Give it to her and tell her that when you saw it, you had to buy it because it made you think about her. Women love to hear, “I was thinking about you.”

They all want a strong man, someone who knows what he wants. You can have what you’ve always wanted in a woman, but you have to be strong, and you need to stop being so afraid to go for what you want. You can’t care about what they think.

This is so important. It has nothing to do with being an asshole. It has to do with doing what you want. Most men have no idea how much they hide their real selves from women.

They don’t say what’s really on their mind, and they end up behaving stupidly around women to make up for it. They are the ones honking horns as they drive by or staring at the women instead of talking to them.

Women complain all the time that men can’t be honest, they can’t communicate, and they aren’t romantic enough. When I lived in Texas, I went to a psychiatrist for two years, because at the time, I couldn’t understand why all these women wanted to marry me. In Texas, the men out there are macho, beerguzzling assholes, and the women out there are starved for romance. Those guys would rather eat their meat, drink their beer and fart all night. Not me. I’d rather be with a beautiful woman.

Women can smell it when you’re fucking somebody else. I don’t know how they know but they always know. And that’s ok because women are good at being in denial. And I always tell them that I go with other women. They never believe what you say anyway. Even if they believe me they always appreciate the honesty.

Go out and read a few romance novels. It’s punishment, it’s torture, but do it anyway!

They will teach you a lot about women and romance.

Something will click and you will have a whole new understanding of women. My wife doesn’t understand why I love to watch Star Trek. I love Star Trek. I can watch the Three Stooges and enjoy myself, but women don’t like the three stooges. It’s not their thing. Check out a few chick flicks, watch a soap opera, and read a romance novel or two. It will help you. These books are written by women for women. It will teach you about the illusion, the romantic movie that women want you to act out. They are not looking for the book because it’s already firmly installed in their minds. What they need is an actor.

I am going to leave you with a few parting words of advice anytime you fuck up with women chances are you weren’t following the first 2 rules. Most importantly be romantic leave all that text messaging, email gathering and facebook bullshit to the nerds. I mean how many times have you really gotten laid after texting or facebooking her ???

Tell the truth I think it would be a real shame to be using a computer to communicate with such a wonderful looking women with such a nice…